How to Begin Dating When Newly Sober

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How to Begin Dating When Newly Sober

Falling in love with someone romantically is one of those events in our life that we will always remember.

It can be with anyone and can happen anywhere. This man or woman might be your partner in the future. You’ll grow old together, start a family, get a house, and adopt a dog and building that white picket fence life.

Falling in love can also happen accidentally. You may have met the person through circumstances that led you to be together. It can be in school, at work, a coffee shop or even on a ditch down the corner. This is what people would refer to as fate or destiny and it happens a lot of times in movies and literature. The idea that someone is really meant for you gives us giddy, happy feelings which is why we try to find him or her.

However, these days, people are too impatient to wait for fate and destiny to work. Real life works in a very different way than movies and waiting will just lead you nowhere. You need to act and do something for you to find the perfect one for you. In any kind of endeavour, passivity can destroy your chances. The same thing happens in finding a love life. If you don’t take action then you might get left behind. However, make sure that you are also ready for a relationship. There are a lot of people who just go into a relationship just because they feel like it. Relationships take a lot of work and effort if you want it to be serious.

One of the ways that people use to find a lover is through the internet. There are a lot of websites that can help you with this goal. Social media is a great way of doing this as there are a lot of people registered on these websites. You can find pages of people looking for love and creating a relationship with them. However, it can be quite dangerous as anyone can create their own social media account. There are a lot of people who have multiple accounts so it will be easy for them to hide their true identity. Learn more about this here: https://metro.co.uk/2018/03/18/catfishing-can-spot-7396549/.

You can meet someone in real life. There are places that cater to blind or speed dating. Some even create specific activities and events dedicated to this kind of dating. It can be a fun and exciting experience to meet someone without having to know them first. You can talk and explore what you want in that certain moment. However, there are so many others who are not keen to this idea. Sure, meeting a complete stranger can be quite uncomfortable. You may also feel trapped, especially when you already know that you do not like person immediately after knowing them. You might also have personal issues of your own that can affect your way of dealing with them personally.

This is why a lot of people turn to online dating to find someone they want to be with for a night or the rest of their lives. This is especially helpful for people who may not be very comfortable in sharing their lives personally with another human being.

For example, people who are going through treatment for sobriety can be very sensitive with their own issues. If you are one of them, chances are you also want to find someone who will understand your situation. You can also share experiences with this person and learn from each other. Going through sobriety can be challenging, but dating at the same time can be really stressful.

Here are some tips that might help you go through your online dating experience:

Go to Sites That Are Dedicated for People Going Through the Same Experience

Looking for sites that cater to people who are going through sobriety will help you adjust better with the other person. The familiarity of your situations can really help in forming an easy camaraderie while you are trying to get to know each other. There are a lot of websites that can help you find these dating sites dedicated for your needs. Check out the 10 best sober dating sites here. You can also register to other dating sites, but sometimes others cannot just easily understand what you are going through. It is worth a try though, and maybe it can help you more.

Be Honest When You Can

Of course, you don’t want your issues to be the first thing that the two of you might discuss while meeting each other for the first time. It will lead to that, especially if you have similar or related experience. However, you also need to gauge whether this topic is appropriate to discuss in the current time. It would be best for the conversation to be as natural as possible. On the other hand, don’t try to deceive the other person either. Yes, there is a possibility that you will never meet again but there is also a chance that you will end up with each other. It would be best to be honest now rather than letting the issue grow with your relationship.

Know That Any Interaction Might Not Lead to an Actual Relationship

Always remember that you are not the only one going through a difficult time. It might be different from your own experience but suffering and pain is universal. If both of you are trying to stay sober, it can be complicated to form a relationship with those issues affecting you.

If friendship is the only thing that you can have for now, let it be. As long as both of you are on the same page, then there is nothing to worry about. In fact, dating sober might surprise you. You also need to let the other person know what you want. Listen to the other person as well and talk about where this interaction might lead. If you just want to be friends, then let the other person know.

Focus on each other’s strengths and form a great relationship with them even without the romance, or alcohol.

 


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Founder, The Internet Crime Fighters Org [ICFO], and Sponsor, ICFO's War On Crimes Against Our Children Author The Internet Users Handbook, 2009-2014
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